When a campaign about documenting your weight loss journey with the help of Just Dance 4 showed up in my inbox, I knew it was time to put on my big girl pants and apply. It scared me that applying meant I could get the campaign and getting the campaign meant that I would have to talk about my weight. Post pictures about my weight. Actually do something about my weight.
I applied via my phone while on a camping trip with my family. A camping trip where I sat on the beach in a sundress instead of a swimsuit. A trip in which other people played with my kids in the water, because I couldn’t bare to put a suit on. A trip in which I am absent from just about every picture.
Pictures are the worse. This picture is with my Grandpa for his 80th birthday. I had no want to be in a picture, but knew how much I would cherish a picture with my grandpa regardless of my size. I still picture the old me and then I see a picture and am shocked by how big I am. I spent most of my life at a healthy weight and very active. I grew up playing soccer, basketball, and dancing. In high school I ran cross country and track and my freshman year of college I was on the rowing team–light weight (meaning I had to weigh in under 130–I’m 5’7). Needless to say, I lived an active life. I put on a few pounds in college while dating my now husband, but took it off when I returned to running and watching my food intake.
Then came marriage and weight. I had a job I hated and at the end of the day a pizza and ice cream sounded divine. Exercise went out the window and I put on some weight. I was still in a healthy weight range for my height, but bigger then I would have liked. Right around the time I thought–I need to do something about this weight–I found out I was pregnant. I put on a huge amount of weight with my pregnancy and birthed a nearly 12 pound, 2 ft baby.
As soon as I hit 6 weeks, I hit the gym. I worked out like mad. I counted everything that went into my mouth and it took FOREVER to lose that baby weight, but I did it!
I still had more I wanted to lose, but was thankful the baby weight was gone. I nursed Quinn for the first year and it wasn’t until I started weaning him that the weight started coming off. It seems too much makes my body hold on to that weight and too little keeps me where I am. Finding a balance is hard.
I actually did a triathlon while pregnant with Eleanor. I went into that pregnancy really fit and swore I would keep it up. I found out I was pregnant just as a new school year was gearing up. I was at a new school, a new grade and Quinn was in daycare full time. I was exhausted and I refused to give up what little time I had with Quinn to exercise. By the time he was in bed, I was done. Somehow I had done it again. Eleanor left me with 30 lbs to lose to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight and I didn’t do a thing to take that weight off. I knew how hard I worked after Quinn to lose the weight and I just wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment.
By the end of May Eleanor was weaned and just a few months later I found out I was pregnant with Hudson. Now Hudson is 4 months old, exclusively breastfed and I have another 30 lbs of baby weight to lose.
Losing the weight is overwhelming. I am so very tired of missing out on my life–of feeling uncomfortable in my own skin and constantly self-conscience. I need to do something. I’m afraid I will do everything right and my body will hang on to the weight. I’ve decided that I need to focus on what I can control. Exercising daily is good for my body no matter what and I can control if I exercise or not. I keep reminding myself that just a pound a week is 52 pounds in a year. One step at a time. This week marks the start of my weight loss journey. I am terrified to share the journey with you, but I imagine there are lots of other women out there who feel the same way.
I’ve weighed and measured myself. I’m not ready to share that with you, but will definitely let you know how many inches/lbs I am down (or up) next week.
My goal this week is to do a minimum of 30 min on the elliptical/3 days and 30 minutes of Just Dance 4/3 days. I have given up soda. I am working on drinking more water and adding in more veggies and healthy stuff. I struggle with knowing how to manage my eating. Everyone knows you cannot out train a bad diet. Eating when hungry or to satiety doesn’t work for me. Those are cues I clearly have trouble understanding, hence the weight. Tracking calories is a pain, but might be a necessary evil. The problem is I don’t really know what the right amount of calories is for me as a full time nursing mom and I don’t want to affect my milk supply. At the very least I need to track my food and be conscious of what I am eating.
I would love to have you join me on this weight loss journey. If you have any weight loss tips, I would love to hear them. If you are/were nursing mom and found a good balance–I would love to hear.
The Just Dance folks started this Pinterest Board for inspiration.
I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls Collective and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.